09.19 Char Dev "Aphid" redesigns & redraws
11.19 Fur render tests
12.19 Eye texture & render tests
PHD Media By Practice
As part of a process of autoethnography and critical research, I examine, retrieve and recode trauma experience and memory through the narrative medium of animation and reflective poetry.
The interconnected and lucid dreams of a moth-like creature and a boy trapped within a nightmare present a mode of trauma transmission through art and animation practice; of recasting through effigy and avatar the painful experiences of childhood.
My research examines the projection and othering of trauma by outing and exhuming memory, and of recasting these mental villains in film; trapping them there instead of being trapped by them in the mind.
This study is conducted within the landscape of ACOA trauma syndrome and PTSD; and therefore the anguish of dragging this project to an inexorable end is embodied by and representative of the struggles within the narrative; and within the scope of lived experience. These ideas are bound together by co-existential anguish and struggle.
The rise and FAIL of these experiences are lived in parallel with the story as in life. The hurts of memory are mirrored by yesterdays scars and today's hurts. These are projected and manifested through the filmic and poetic mechanism as a recoding and redefining narrative activity. This is therefore an experiment in self-narrative therapy without outside expertise or clinical oversight apart from scholarly thought.
The sabotage and chaos found here is to be expected, and these realities are to be folded and fed into the film-trap. The narrative struggles that arise here, just maybe, might reframe everything, and might lead others to help reframe & retell their own dreamscapes.