twist3d
  • BLACKFLAME MOVIE
  • TRAUMA Reflections
  • about
  • MAKING OF
Reflections
These poems are completely amateur so please don't judge too harshly. I could find no way of straight writing and kept deleting my efforts. The poems seems to be sticking. 

spikes

2/12/2020

0 Comments

 
Chest pains spoked wheels splayed 
spooked reins horse bolting 
bolted to blame, blood letting
pulled back black blade, only
resetting to restart the bleeding again

Spikes poking through fragile skin
invoking an imagined maelstrom 
a stormy whirlwind 
aching to return back to anything
apart from this terminal maddening 

Making something, take something away from him
erasing stains on a tarpaulin burned
by chilled flames, raking the coals away again 
embers of remembering, trained to 
turn away from redemption again

But there is no such thing as redemption my friend
Sanitised sun baked, bleached white
arrayed days, stark sliding nights
sliding by, hours grinding inching
from sigh to sigh, snake minutes coiled 
eyes blinking as time snails by

Stare at the wall and feel the anxiety
creep in. Wonder if maybe you'll give in? 
Throw the towel in? 
But an old lion finally growls inside, a singed paw 
shrouds a tired mind. 
Not this time my child, this hour is mine. 

0 Comments

Chinese whispers

2/4/2020

0 Comments

 
Chinese whispers
Changed chastening ideas
Passed around from ear to ear
Apeing dangerous ideals, like
Reimagining interiors and
Beliefs
Interned and interrogated
Like beetles stuck in trees.
Trying to get out from the inside.
Hiding from preying eyes
Eyeing up the prize
Of realising that it's ok
To even consider pride.
Consider prizing open the outside to
Peer at the inside.
Instead dreaming of the inner child that died.
Come to life, try to smile. A terrible puzzle but there the answer lies, enshrouded
Mummified.
But at least I tried.
I tried.
0 Comments

bumble bee

2/1/2020

0 Comments

 
bumble bee dreams bounce wings beat beat 
hum drum dumb dreams complete draining days
bumbling alone or being swept off your feet
drained flowers, exhausted depleted stems
grainy pictures of women, mums and daughters 
holding hands with boys, brothers, fathers

hoping to stumble into a warm flower hug
bumble alone from seed to seed, tumbling
down icy ravines into the recent deceased memories
dreary scenes dragged out of brain cells replaying 
the same old stories

A glimpse of heartfelt wonder, holding hands on a sofa 
handing over to harmful overtones overt sabotage 
staging yet another rubble strewn diorama
denying the bumble bee the chance to recover
a tragedy as every bumble bee is to discover







0 Comments

    by Paul Sinclair


    This journal confronts childhood trauma, adult PTSD and anxiety disorder. There are also experiential themes of ACOA (being an adult child of an alcoholic).

    I'm hoping this research and testimony can help the 1 in 5 children and adult children either experiencing addiction and abuse, or the adult consequences. 

    ​We can heal ourselves. 

    https://nacoa.org/
    https://adultchildren.org/
    ​https://www.mind.org.uk/

    THIS IS A CHAOTIC AND PERSONAL ACCOUNT, PLEASE ALLOW FOR FREE THOUGHTS, EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION AND POETRY. 

    Archives

    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

© 2020 Paul Sinclair 
  • BLACKFLAME MOVIE
  • TRAUMA Reflections
  • about
  • MAKING OF