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Reflections
These poems are completely amateur so please don't judge too harshly. I could find no way of straight writing and kept deleting my efforts. The poems seems to be sticking. 

A low point

7/21/2019

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So in the story and so in life. 

And the words form through keyboard and eye and brain, though not ever touching the emptiness, not impressing the coldness of time.

Lonely eyes scan across hungry pixels. White and unworthy space, ensnaring thoughts that cannot make it to the page. Not as they truly are.

I'm on my knees. This low, sunken state as a carrion carcass being picked and defiled by seagulls and ravens. I look at the stark ribs as they represent the final shadow of experience. Picked bare. 

I see my reflection. I ask myself can I do this or will I fail?

I don't know.
​



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I'm sorry

7/17/2019

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This isn't working and it is winning. 
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Destruction

7/17/2019

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I awaken and smell black like Decayed Soot, carbon lungs fill with the air of tepid lakes. 

Awaken to the realisation that I have been in a coma, taken. Gone. 

The heady times; rushing, stumbling, laughing. Now slaughtered on the altar. 

The thing is there back on the skull, sucking at the juices of my being. It has me. 

​
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    by Paul Sinclair


    This journal confronts childhood trauma, adult PTSD and anxiety disorder. There are also experiential themes of ACOA (being an adult child of an alcoholic).

    I'm hoping this research and testimony can help the 1 in 5 children and adult children either experiencing addiction and abuse, or the adult consequences. 

    ​We can heal ourselves. 

    https://nacoa.org/
    https://adultchildren.org/
    ​https://www.mind.org.uk/

    THIS IS A CHAOTIC AND PERSONAL ACCOUNT, PLEASE ALLOW FOR FREE THOUGHTS, EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION AND POETRY. 

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© 2020 Paul Sinclair 
  • BLACKFLAME MOVIE
  • TRAUMA Reflections
  • about
  • MAKING OF